More Women Opting For ‘Photoshop Diet’ To Prevent Exertion
In a bid to feel good about themselves, increasing numbers of women are channelling money they would otherwise spend on costly diets or gym memberships into Photoshop courses.
“It’s easier to just doctor my photos than spend hours sweating the kilos off on a treadmill,” says Betty Grasso, a recent enroller in an after hours course that introduces people to the basics of image alteration.
An example of the wonders of Photoshop
“Most of my communication with friends is done through Facebook anyway. So as long as I look good on there, people will picture me as I look in the photos, not real life,” Grasso claims.
“This way I don’t have to pretend like I’m exercising by spending three minutes on my abcircle pro and then wonder why I’m not burning off that fried chicken pizza I had for breakfast.”
The 34-year-old spinster has, so far, learnt the art of weight reduction and neck extension/creation, and next week will learn to remove blemishes and acne, increase breast size, smooth cellulite and alter eye colour and size.
“It’s pretty exciting – for years I’ve been trying everything to lose weight without leaving my seat. Now, the longer I spend idle in front of a computer, the better I can look!”
This ‘Photoshop Diet’ has raised concerns amongst health professionals around the world, including personal trainer, Kris Stark. “I work out for 19 hours a week and eat only soy-based products to be able to get photographed wearing my low-cut singlet at music festivals. Now these guys can do the same with ten minutes on a computer!”
Health professionals aren’t the only ones concerned by this.
Fashion magazine editor, Greta Magro, has also expressed her worries: “If everyone knows how to Photoshop themselves, it’s very hard to pick models from their picture. They might look good on paper, but then you meet them and they’re just tubby little lardos like everyone else.”